Escrow. Earnest money. Amortization. Contingency. You've seen them on listings and heard them from friends, and you have a rough idea what some of them mean. Others you couldn't explain if someone asked. So you wait until you've read up and can talk about it like you know what you're doing.
You don't have to wait for that. You can start in your own words.
Why the words get in the way
Nobody likes feeling behind. A mortgage conversation can feel like walking into a room where everyone else learned the language years ago. You picture asking something simple and getting a look that says you aren't ready.
So people do one of two things. Some put off the first conversation, sometimes for a long time, and keep telling themselves they'll call once they understand it better. Others show up and go quiet. They nod at words they don't know and hope it all makes sense later.
Putting it off means you're making plans without the facts. You might be looking at houses, or ruling them out, based on guesses. Going quiet has its own cost. You leave with the same questions you came in with, plus a few new ones, and now you feel like it's too late to ask.
The worry under both is the same. You think a basic question will make you look naive, or like you shouldn't be there yet.
Words people hear and nod along to
Most people pick these words up in pieces, from places that never stop to explain them.
A listing says the taxes are paid through escrow, and you skip past it. A friend who bought last year says they had to come up with the earnest money fast, and you nod like you know what that means. An agent mentions closing costs while you're standing in somebody's kitchen, and it doesn't feel like the moment to ask. A website shows a monthly payment and breaks it into parts with names you've never seen.
Some words sound simple and turn out not to be. Down payment seems obvious until someone asks how much you're planning to put down and you realize you have no idea what's normal. Mortgage insurance sounds like it covers you, and you aren't sure who it's really for. Appraisal sounds a lot like inspection. They aren't the same: an appraisal is about what the home is worth, and an inspection is about its condition.
And amortization is the one most people won't even try to say out loud.
None of this means you're behind. People who work with mortgages use these words all the time, so they stop hearing them as jargon.
How to say it in your own words
You don't need the right term to say what you mean. Describing it works. Some plain lines people use:
"The money we'd put down up front."
"The part of the payment that covers taxes and insurance."
"The extra costs at the end, when we sign everything."
"The money you put in when the seller says yes to your offer."
"Someone told me I'd need insurance on top of the mortgage, and I didn't understand why."
"I keep hearing a word and I don't know what it means."
Each one gets the point across. The person you're talking to can match your description to the term and keep going. You don't have to know that the second line is escrow, or that the third line is closing costs.
You can also say the word and put a question after it. "What's escrow, exactly?" is a fine way to open. So is "I've heard amortization a few times. What is it?"
If you want a single sentence that sets the tone, try this one: "I'm new to this, so I may ask some basic questions." It tells the other person to explain things plainly. It also takes some of the pressure off you, because you've already said the thing you were worried about.
Asking what a word means in the first conversation with Jeff
Asking what a word means is a normal part of a first conversation.
When you ask Jeff about a word, he can explain it plainly and in the context of your situation. Then the conversation can keep going where it was.
A question about a word fills in a gap, so the next part of the conversation makes more sense to you.
You also don't have to ask everything at once. If a word comes up and you'd rather let it pass for a minute, you can circle back before you're done. "Can we go back to that word you used earlier?" works fine.
And if you're asked something you can't answer because of a word, say that. "I'm not sure what you mean by that" is an honest answer, and it keeps you from guessing.
When you nodded along before and still don't know
Maybe you've already been through this. You talked with an agent or a friend, a word came up, and you nodded because you didn't want to slow things down. Now it's been a while, you still don't know what it meant, and asking feels late.
It isn't too late. You can ask about a word you heard last month, or last year, the same way you'd ask about one you heard a minute ago. "Someone mentioned escrow when we were looking at houses, and I never asked what it was" is a perfectly good question.
The same goes for a word you thought you understood. Maybe you've been using "down payment" and "closing costs" as if they were one thing. You can say, "I think I've been mixing these up," and ask.
A lot of people have nodded along at least once. Going back to ask is a small step. Carrying the confusion into a bigger decision is the harder one.
A small habit that helps
When you hear a word you don't know, write it down. Keep the list in the notes app on your phone or on a piece of paper on the fridge. Add where you heard it, if you remember. "Listing for the blue house." "Open house on Saturday."
When you're ready to talk, start with the list. "I wrote down a few words I kept hearing. Can we go through them?" That gives the first conversation an easy place to begin, and you don't have to remember everything on the spot.
If you'd like something concrete to look at before you talk, try the mortgage calculator once. Put in a price and look at what the monthly payment comes to. If it raises a question, add it to your list.
One thing to do
Use Get In Touch and tell Jeff, in your own words, what you're trying to figure out. If there's a word you don't know, start there.
Jeff Shin, NMLS 1041652. Barrett Financial Group, L.L.C. Chicago. Company NMLS 181106. Equal Housing Lender. Not a commitment to lend.